Finale: The New Desk Choir (Thursday, 23 Dec)

On the tenth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Ten steps to firing
Nine MPs dancing,
Eight plots a-brewing,
Seven rumours blooming,
Six pics of Khairy,
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Eleven rookies sweating,
Ten steps to firing,
Nine MPs dancing,
Eight plots a-brewing,
Seven rumours blooming,
Six pics of Khairy,
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Twelve rules of writing,
Eleven rookies sweating,
Ten steps to firing,
Nine MPs dancing,
Eight plots a-brewing,
Seven rumours blooming,
Six pics of Khairy,
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

********************************

(Tiny Tim from Loading sez, "God Bless Us, Everyone!")

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A JOLLY NEW YEAR!

The News Desk Choir (Tuesday, 21 Dec)

(On the Seventh, Eighth and Ninth Day of Christmas...)


On the seventh day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Seven rumours blooming,
Six pics of Khairy,
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the eighth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Eight plots a-brewing,
Seven rumours blooming,
Six pics of Khairy,
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the ninth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Nine MPs dancing,
Eight plots a-brewing,
Seven rumours blooming,
Six pics of Khairy,
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

(to be continued...)

The News Desk Choir (Monday, 20 Dec)

(On the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Day of Christmas...)

On the fourth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the fifth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
F-i-v-e UM-NO links ....
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the sixth day of Christmas
my Chief Boss sent to me
Six pics of Khairy
Five UMNO links,
Four calls from Delhi,
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

(to be continued)

The News Desk Choir (Friday, 17 Dec)

On the first day of Christmas,
The Chief Boss sent to me
Assignment in UAE...

On the second day of Christmas,
my Chief Boss sent to me
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

On the third day of Christmas,
my Chief Boss sent to me
Three blogs to maki,
Two speech rewrites,
And assignment in UAE.

(to be continued)

The Boss (Wednesday, 15 Dec)

The massage was good last night. It's been a while since I had someone pummel my back. Then this Chinese fella can 'realign'-ed some more.

"Mercedes-Benz also must realign one. Balance-lah," he said.

Tried to do a deal with this doctor. One feature article on him for one-year's worth of massages and realigning. No can do ... cash, cash... he said, glaring at me. I thought I could feel my back twitching, so I paid up immediately. Bloody stingy fella #$$%^#$%

So a New Me walked into the office this morning. Beamed at everyone and then sent rookie to check out the Cabinet meeting today. The rookie has been instructed to see who would wince if he mentioned he was from NST. Then we'll know who's behind Kelab Maya Umno's attack. It is time for new additions and new rules to my hate-list.

But pray tell, who on earth would be so mean? If you prick me, do I not bleed? If you out-scoop me, do I not scream? If you don't reply to my SMS immediately, do I not weep? I have feelings too, you know. All I want is to be loved like that Malaysian Idol girl.

Speaking of which, KTK ain't feeling the lurve these days. Hehe... Yah, "Let's Stop This Rot" (Headline). See RR ... English need not be verbose.

Note to self:
(1) Talk to Big Boss. Convince him KMU is another branch of KMM and they all use handphones.
(2) Redo hate-list. Numero uno crime is not replying to my text messages. Rude bastards.

The Boss (Tuesday, 14 Dec)

They say that your back will hurt if people are out there to 'pukau' you.

My back has been hurting like hell since the weekend. Feels like someone landed a sledgehammer on my neck. I curse that 6-footer Mat Salleh who thought he was so cool at the club, flailing his tentacles, and hit me on the head instead. A-hole.

White men can't dance.

But I'm getting a little paranoid. RI, who still can't make a decent cuppa, told me this story of pukau-this, pukau-that. Seems that that Anwar fella also kena pukau. That's why they didn't want to send him to Munich.

Then there was a buzz on the news floor a few days ago. Some rookie decided to surf into Kelab Maya Umno found an online poll on whether I should be replaced.

83% said yes. @#$$%^#$^%&

There was also an article accompanying the poll, "Don't let Jalan Riong sully the PM's image".

Nasty nasty internet. And you wonder why we decent, hard-working news people want to take these online bloggers, commentators, fako-journo down.

Need a teh-tarik and panadol .... Time to figure out who is behind this ...

Note to self:-
(1) Text RI - bungkus satu teh tarik kurang manis.
(2) Text NO - charge these KMU fellas
(3) Memo to Secretary - Make appointment with Dr. J for massage; Dr. HD for anti-pukau treatment

The Boss (Thursday, 09 Dec)

Tis' the season to be jolly. Not for me though.

Spent days consoling SMN. We broke the news on the 'real' deal. But the one-who-cannot-be-named arm-twisted Big Boss. Kena-la we all. So balding-museum-aficionado won. End of story.

Spent another day consoling KJ. He tried to bring down NA a notch or two but the wily old man had a few tricks up his sleeves. Now have to pretend that nothing happened. I gently advised him to say "I'd been misquoted" repeated....

Santarina aka the Secretary dumped a bag full of letters complaining why we mix local and foreign news together. We don't want to publish all that icky local news ... so, cannot-ah?

Don't they know our national feel-good policy? We aren't going to hype on Anwar, robberies, murders, police brutality, poverty, corruption and why half the states are in the red. Once our readers see how hell has broken loose out there, they will feel grateful.

Note to self:-
(1) Memo to Secretary - redirect letters to RR. Let him correct their English.
(2) Buy dinner for SMN
(3) Check contacts in JP - what else is AI doing in Jakarta?